Duck Duck Cougar?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
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I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
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We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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