So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
