i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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