ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i will never coherently bang her
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
