We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
