My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
