I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
