I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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