i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
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You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
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Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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