if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
