You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
