There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Nobody cheats on THIS.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
