just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.