It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She announced her abortion via fbk
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..