She announced her abortion via fbk
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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