i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?