We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
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i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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