I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
