I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
