Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
