He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
