I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she peed on how many people?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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