But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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