how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
