I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
