it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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