hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
