Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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