I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.