she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?