Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.