sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.