I've blown a few things in my day
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
