i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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