So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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