I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
