ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it's not cheating when I paid for it
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
