I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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