well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
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I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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