just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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