There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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