discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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