Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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