He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
