I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
