you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
