Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
