Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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