He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
