Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
