what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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