let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
