what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
