We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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