you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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