Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We just shotgunned beers for America
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.