why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So much puke
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS