WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
