Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize