Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize