I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
