Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
