i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
