so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
