Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
